I've been feeling a bit shameful and upset with myself. I think I have every right to be. I've allowed myself to become overwhelmed with "life" that I haven't allowed all of me to exist. I haven't allowed the existence, the total existence, of my love for art and creativity. At times I even felt self-conscious about myself and compared myself and my illustrations to others. I didn't allow myself to paint, draw, sketch, even just color with a pack of Crayola Crayons.
In turn, I felt stagnant in myself. I felt stagnant in what I was blessed with the gift to do. I kept looking at my sketchbook and thought "I'm just not good." or "There are people who sketch WAY better than what I can do." I felt like my talent was shriveling up in front of me every time I ignored it to focus on what I could not control. That spooked me!
I came the realization that I am the only one responsible for what I do with what I am blessed with and no one else. Besides God, I am the only one who knows what my potential looks like at the core and where it comes from. I'm the only one who knows what the naked root of my talent looks like. I'm the only one who knows how powerful that root can be and what can stem from it.
I had to say to myself, "I don't have to be as good as someone else to be great at what I do." And I mean just that. So, this writing this blog, continuing of my illustrations, and posting them is my way of dusting off what I've allowed to become dormant and showing it to everyone who cares to look.
I owe this to God, to myself, to my husband, my son (who is kicking me in the uterus as I type), to my family, and even to you (the reader). So thanks for reading or looking. I'll do the best I can to not disappoint you, but remember... I have to not disappoint myself first.
Thanks for reading! Have a blessed day!